07 Happy Holidays, One Could Hope
by MaltaGozo
Summary: EPI 07 : It's almost Christmas.  Lilly had found a job to get Miley the perfect gift, but this means no time together.  Miley is annoyed, especially since she doesn't feel well.  She misses her mom and slowly drifts away. Will Lilly see it in time? LILEY
1. Have a bath, I love you

**Author's note :** This is the episode 7 of the Liley's story! Maybe I will do some oneshots too, I don't know. I'll see ! But I'm glad to see that there is more and more fanfiction with homosexual pairings. I want to say that Liley's relationship can be as beautiful as Loliver's, Moliver's, or Jiley's. I try to make it not about sex, but about connection and intimacy, and I hope you can see that... Anyway, enjoy this new chapter of Miley and Lilly's life!

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Hannah Montana

**Happy Holidays, one could hope, Chapter 1**

Miley was sitting on the couch in her living room, reading a magazine. Lilly was also busy reading. She had her legs on Miley's, and was resting her back on the right arm of the couch.

''So'' Lilly started, putting the magazine on her laps. ''What do you want for Christmas...?'' Christmas was in two weeks. It would be the first one they were going to spend as a couple. Lilly wanted to make it special for Miley, as Miley wanted for Lilly.

''Don't know.'' Miley shrugged, continuing reading.

''Come on, you have to help me out here!'' Lilly begged.

''I don't want anything, really... I have you!'' Miley flirted, looking at Lilly in the corner of her eye.

Lilly frowned. ''Yadi yadi ya.'' she said, emphasizing in with a slight movement of the hand. ''Everybody says that, but everybody has an idea... Come on, tell me!''

Miley smiled and stopped reading. ''Well, do you remember our three months anniversary?''

Lilly smiled. Oh yeah, she remembered. One of their best night ever.

**FLASH BACK : Two weeks ago**

Lilly and Miley were walking in the streets hand in hand, their fingers intertwined. It was late. It was a Saturday evening in the beginning of december. It was warm enough for them to take their time, enjoying the night. They had a picnic earlier. They were the only one on the beach, so they were free to be as close, as intimate, as they wanted.

They arrived at Miley's house.

''You're sure you can't stay?'' Miley asked, with a little disappointment in the voice.

''Yeah, I have to get up early tomorrow.'' Lilly replied. ''I'm going to spend the day with my dad at the rehab center.'' (A/N: See 'Sweet Dad of Mine').

''Okay... So I guess I'll see you Monday?''

''Yep...''

They stared at each other. Neither of them wanted to leave. Lilly sighed, and grabbed Miley's hands in hers. She leaned and kissed Miley goodbye. Miley deepened the kiss, as usual. They exchanged a long embrace and finally pulled appart.

''Have a good night...'' Lilly breathed.

''You too.''

Miley let Lilly's hands go, and watched her leave, sighing of happiness... and frustration.

''Hey Jackson.'' Miley said coming home.

''Oh Miley, thank god!'' Jackson exclaimed. ''Can you give me a hand real quick please?''

Miley groaned, but agreed. ''What do you want?''

''Can you go under the sink and hold this towel around the biggest tube?'' He said, handing her a really dirty towel. Miley grimaced, but took it, disgusted.

''Sweet Nibblets, I knew I should have said 'no'. I'm too nice...'' She groaned again, and disappeared under the sink. Jackson smiled and put his thumb up towards the door. Lilly appeared on the doorway, smiling. She quietly bursted a laugh at the sight of Miley under the sink. She quietly stepped into the house and crossed the living room, as silent as she could be.

''Jackson! Come on! I don't wanna spend the night here! What you're doing?!''

Jackson wasn't doing anything. The sink was fine. He just had to wait for Lilly to be upstairs and gave her a few seconds to get ready. That was the plan.

''Hold on a few seconds more, Miles. I'm almost done.'' He said, biting in an apple.

He opened the water, pretending to see if something was wrong. ''Oh, yeah, I see the problem...'' He lied, keeping eating.

''Okay, so fix it already!'' Miley begged from under the sink.

Lilly was next to the stairs, and mouthed ''thank you'' to Jackson. Jackson nodded and she disappeared upstairs.

A few minutes later, Miley was fiercely climbing the stairs, pesting against Jackson. She opened the door of her bedroom and stepped in. She was still grumbling when she turned the light on. She froze. Lilly was standing in front of her, wearing some kind of white uniform. The same kind people working in SPAS would wear.

''Wow.'' Miley let out.

''Welcome to the second part of our night.'' Lilly seductively said.

''Wow.'' Miley said again, stunned.

''You're welcome!'' she heard Jackson yell from downstairs. She frowned and looked at Lilly.

''Yeah, the sink was fine...'' Lilly smiled. Miley groaned. She went to hold Lilly, but she stopped her putting her hands up. ''No, no, no Miley. There's a time for everything... For now, just close your eyes.''

Miley frowned but obeyed. She closed them, wondering what Lilly was up to. Lilly smiled, satisfied, and started to strip Miley's clothes.

''Lilly, what you're doing?'' Miley asked.

''Wait...'' Lilly breathed, throwing away Miley's blouse. Miley smiled under Lilly's soft touch. She liked it... a lot. In fact, she was started to get seriously turned on. Her skirt was soon thrown away, followed by her underwears. Lilly put a bathrobe around Miley's thin body, even if she enjoyed the sight of Miley naked body, and took her hand. She led her into the bathroom. As soon as they got in, Miley could smell millions of perfume.

''Okay, now, open your eyes.''

Miley's eyes widened. In front of her, was her bathroom, but it was totally different than usual. The bathtube was filled with lather and bubbles, and was surrounded by candels perfumed by different essence. The only light was the one made by the candels's flame. There was a light indie music in the background, very relaxing. Lilly was looking at Miley, waiting for her reaction.

''Wow...'' _ Miley was missing some vocabulary tonight... Lilly laughed to herself._

''Are you gonna get in?'' Lilly asked, mocking Miley's frozen attitude.

Miley smiled and took off her bathrobe. She throw it to Lilly, playfully. She stepped in the bathtube and her skin entered in contact with the warm water. Miley moaned of pleasure. The perfect bath prepared by the perfect girl. She closed her eyes, enjoying the bubbles teasing her body.

Lilly sat next to her on the edge of the bathtube. She played with the lather and looked at Miley's face, her smiling and happy face. Miley had some lather on her cheek, so Lilly soflty wiped it off. Miley opened one eye and looked at her girlfriend, a little grin on her lips.

''Are you gonna get in?'' Miley asked, seductively.

''Nooo. This is your night. I'm at your service.''

''Well, if you're at my service, I order you to join me...'' Miley replied.

Lilly smiled. ''I guess I can't refuse then...'' Lilly stood up and stripped in front of Miley's eyes. She then stepped in the bathtube, and sat in front of Miley, at the other side. ''wow,'' she said herself. ''I'm sooo good.''

Miley pouted. ''What?'' Lilly asked.

''This is not what I had in mine...'' Miley said.

Lilly frowned. ''what do you mean?''

''You, over there, and me, here.''

''Oooh... I get it.'' Lilly moved towards Miley and leaned against her chest, kissing her softly on the lips. ''Is this better?''

''You have no idea...'' Miley breathed, putting her arms around Lilly's neck. She kissed her. ''Now, let me thank you for all this...'' She added, a lot in her mind.

They switched position, so that now Lilly was leaning against the bathtube, with Miley on top of her. Miley disappeared under the water. ''Wow, this is going to be a very very long night...'' Lilly smiled as she felt Miley's touch. And she was right. They spent the night in each other's embrace, finding million ways to please each other.

**END FLASH BACK**

''I want something like that...'' Miley grinned.

''Come on, you can have that whenever you want...''

''Really?'' Miley asked suddenly very interested. ''Then, I want it now...'' She added, throwing the magazine behind the couch, and grabbing Lilly's legs. She took them off her and stretched them on the couch. She sat on Lilly's laps, each leg bended at each side. She started playing with Lilly's necklace, slightly touching her neck, teasing.

Lilly gently caressed Miley's cheeks, and locked eyes with her. Lilly stretched to reach Miley's lips as Miley closed the distance too. Their lips met in a long kiss. Lilly's hands went on Miley's hips as Miley grabbed Lilly's face, deepening the kiss. Lilly tightened Miley against her and Miley wrapped her arms around Lilly's neck, her hands in her hair. Lilly slid her hands under Miley's shirt, slowly teasing Miley's side. Miley moaned of pleasure and Lilly slightly opened her mouth allowing Miley to give more of her. Things were really heating up.

''Wows, someone's gonna get some...'' they heard Jackson laughed.

Lilly and Miley broke their kiss, and looked at Jackson, still holding each other. Lilly's face was leaning on Miley's chest while Miley still had her arms around her neck.

''Shut up Jackson.'' Miley snapped.

''Hey, I'm not the one doing it in the middle of the living room!'' He exclaimed, defensive. ''You better stop before dad comes home. I know he's okay with you two, but seeing his girl really going at it might give him a heart attack...'' He added, starting to climb the stairs. Jackson disappeared and Miley relaxed.

''I have to go anyway.'' Lilly sighed, falling back on the couch. ''I have to start looking for a job.''

Miley sighed and reluctantly got up to let her go.

They looked again at each other, wishing they could continue what they have just started. Miley took Lilly's hand and kissed her. She groaned when she had to pull back. Lilly was as frustrated as she was. She slowly walked to the door and, before leaving, gave a last look and smile to Miley saying ''Next time: fireworks.'' She winked.

Miley shivered at that thought. There were always fireworks every time Lilly and she were together.

Miley was laying on her bed, eyes closed. Her thoughts were usually occupied by Lilly. But tonight, she was thinking about her mom. ''Miles, we're going to the cemetery the next weekend, so don't plan anything, okay?'' Her dad told her, before she went to bed. She hated Christmas period because it was when she missed her mom the most. She wished she could see her alive again. She wished she could hold her again. She wished she could smell her perfume again. It was hard. And she felt like the weight of leaving without her mom was getting heavier and heavier.

Miley slowly dived in a deep sleep, tears still rolling on her cheeks.


	2. Don't ask me why I'm sad

**Happy Holiday, one could hope, chapter 2**

''Good news! I got a job!'' Lilly exclaimed when she sat next to Miley in their English Class.

''Oh good! What is it?'' Miley feigned to be excited.

''I'm gonna work at the movie theater...''

''Oh really?''

''That's great!'' Miley smiled. ''I'm happy for you.'' She said, rubbing slightly Lilly's thigh.

''And what's even better is that now, I can give you the perfect present.''

''Lilly...'' Miley started.

''I know, you told me not to,'' Lilly cut off ''but Miley, I want you to have the best Christmas ever.''

Lilly said this with so much sincerity and love in her eyes, that Miley's heart melted down. But soon, the vision of her mom appeared in front of her eyes. Her mom who won't be there for Christmas. How could she ever have a perfect Christmas without her mom? Miley's face immediatly shut down, her eyes holding all the sadness of her heart. Lilly noticed she wasn't alright.

''Miley?'' She questioned, worried, a hand on Miley's thigh.

Miley didn't really want to talk that with Lilly, or with anyone else for that matter. She slightly smiled, pretending she was fine. Luckily for her, the teacher came into the class and started the lecture.

Miley stayed pretty quiet all morning, and Lilly was more and more worried. It was very unusual to see Miley not react to... anything! She didn't want to push her into spelling out what was bothering her because she knew Miley would sooner or later say something. But the sooner was becoming the later now, and it was upseting. They were walking, silently again, to the lunchroom.

''So, erm, did you see that hat Oliver was wearing this morning? Pretty dorky, huh?'' Lilly attempted. But all she got from Miley was a groan.

''Ok, Miley, that's it!'' She exclaimed, holding Miley with a hand. ''Come with me.''

She led Miley into the girls' bathroom. After making sure nobody else was there, Lilly looked at Miley who was looking down, her arms crossed on her chest, defensive. She was slightly shacking too.

Miley was a little scared. Not because Lilly was with her or anything, but because she didn't want to talk to Lilly about... that. And somehow, she knew Lilly was going to spill the words out of her... sooner or later. Lilly stared attentively at her girlfriend, her stubborn girlfriend who refused to say what was wrong with her.

''Miley,'' Lilly soothed, coming next to her and sitting on the sink.

This voice... Miley looked up and finally met Lilly's eyes. She hadn't seen them since the english class. Lilly sighed of relief. ''Finally! I'm seeing your face again! I missed these beautiful eyes, and these wonderful lips'' Lilly grinned.

Miley couldn't help but smile.

''And that amazing smile of yours...'' Lilly added, smiling too.

_How does she do that? Miley thought. Lilly can always make me happy, no matter what._

And without saying anything, she threw herself in Lilly's arms and held her tight. Lilly was a little surprised at first, but she soon tightened the hug. ''You're okay, sweetie?'' She asked in Miley's ear. Miley quietly nodded, without breaking the embrace. She just needed closure, she just needed to be in the ''girl-she-loved-more-than-anything'' 's embrace. She needed to feel safe for a while. Lilly didn't know what exactly was going on, but Miley visibly needed her. So they stayed like this, Lilly, sat on the sink holding Miley whose head was burried in her neck and hair, her arms around her waist.

The moment was broken when Lilly's stomach rumbled. Miley pulled a little away, and looked at Lilly, amused.

''What...? I'm hungry...'' Lilly said, an embarrassed grin on her face.

''Yeah, I heard that...'' Miley laughed.

She put a kiss on Lilly's lips and moved away from her, allowing Lilly to get off the sink and stand up. Miley grabbed Lilly's hand and led her out of the bathroom. They went to the cafeteria and had lunch. Miley's mood was much better. Lilly made all she could to cheer her up and it worked. Miley laughed, talked, smiled again. But Lilly couldn't help but wonder what's gotten into her earlier.

Oliver walked up to them as they were walking home from school, a happy smile on his face.

''Hey guys!'' He exclaimed. ''Lilly, since you work at the movie theater now, I was wondering if I could have special fares, you know, for your friends? Because Becca and I are going to see a movie Saturday and...''

Lilly grimaced in horror. Oliver stopped, wondering what he had just done.

''Oh maaan, I forgot!'' Lilly cried out. ''I start in a few minutes at the movie theater! I can't believe I'm gonna be late for my first day!''

Miley smiled. It was typical of Lilly. Lilly quickly kissed Miley goodbye and ran away.

''What about me?!'' Oliver cried to an already far away Lilly.

Miley opened the door of their house and was greeted by her father.

''Hey bud!''

''Hellooooo...'' she sighed, loudly walking to the counter in the kitchen.

''I see Lilly's not with you tonight. That's a first!'' Her dad mocked. ''What's going on?''

''Nothing. Lilly's working tonight.'' Miley groaned.

''Oh, and you can't be with her more than a minute?'' He laughed.

Miley made the look to her father and went to sit on the sofa. These last seconds had reminded her of a precise memory.

**FLASH BACK: February 2002**

Miley, 11 years old, had just came back from school. She fell on the sofa, exhausted by her day. They were still living in Tennessee, in this ranch kind of house. She had whined about her problems to her dad when she arrived but he wasn't really good at that. Miley's mom entered the living room. Miley immediatly ran to her arms. Her mom smiled, holding her tight.

''Hey Hon','' Mr Stewart said from the kitchen. They exchanged a look with a meaning only known by the two of them. It was a rather concern look, but Miley was too young to notice. Her mom put her stuff on the table in front of the couch and went to hang her coat in the closet.

''What is that Mom?'' Miley asked sitting on the couch and holding some bottles in her hands.

''Oh, it's jsut some medicine.'' Her mother replied, taking them of her hands.

''Oh, for you headaches?''

''Yes, sweetie. It's for my headaches.'' She said softly sitting next to her daughter.

''I hope you'll feel better soon, because I need you to help me to find a present for Jodie. Her party is next Saturday.'' Miley said, excited.

''Oh, about that sweetie, I won't be home this week. I have a business trip to New York. You will have to go with your father...''

''moooom!'' Miley whined. ''Dad sucks !''

''Thank you Bud!'' Mr Stewart frowned.

''Well, Robbie, she's right...'' Her mom smiled.

''Still, no need to say it aloud. The man has feelings you know!'' Mr Stewart replied, jocking.

Her mom got up from the couch and walked up to her husband, putting her arms around him. She kissed him slightly. ''Sorry.'' she said to him.

Her dad smiled, happy. Her mom smiled, happy. Miley smiled, happy. She didn't know that it would be the last time she would see them like that. She fell back on the couch, arms crossed, a little frustrated. Jodie was going to hate her when she'll see her present...

**END FLASH BACK**

Miley thought about Jodie. She was her best friend, back in Tennessee. Then after what happened, they moved to California, and became friends with Lilly and Oliver. She missed her a lot, and even though she stayed in contact by mails, or phone calls, it was different. Hopefully, she will get to see her soon.

Miley tried to call Lilly that night, but her mom told her that she was still working at the movies. Miley sighed, thanked Mrs Trescott and hang up. Her dad was right when he told her she couldn't be away from Lilly more than a few minutes. But hey, they were in love and how many people did actually have that chance?


	3. I wasn't there, let me make it up to you

**Happy Holiday, one could hope, Chapter 3**

That Wednesday afternoon, Hannah was singing 'Rocking around the Christmas Tree' in a hospital for sick children. Every christmas she spent time with them, trying to cheer them up, and realizing their dream.

_Rocking around the Christmas tree  
at the Christmas party hop  
Mistletoe hung where you can see  
every couple tries to stop  
Rocking around the Christmas tree,  
let the Christmas spirit ring_

Lola wasn't with her. It was the first time she was missing a Hannah event since they were together and it felt weird. Hannah kept looking on the side always expecting to see that familiar face, but all she saw was her father and his mustach. She loved a lot, but his face was nothing compared to Lilly's... Hannah, well no, Miley, couldn't help but resent Lilly at that moment.

Even though she was happy to see all these happy smiles on the face of these children, she felt down in the blue. She was surrounded by all these people, all this joy, but she felt all alone.

As soon as she left the hospital and entered in the limo, her sad smile came back. Her dad sighed when he saw it. He knew she wasn't alright lately and he had some suspicions why, but he didn't want to bring the subject up. He wasn't very comfortable about talking about her dead wife.

Miley's cellphone rang as soon as she arrived in her bedroom. It was Lilly. Miley hesitated. She wasn't sure she was in the mood to talk to Lilly. She let it ring... and when it stopped, sighed. She felt a little guilty but if she had picked up, she would have ended up saying things to Lilly that she would have even more regretted.

Lilly spotted Miley as soon as she arrived at school thursday Morning. She was at her locker, as usual.

''Hey Miley!'' she said, putting her hands on Miley's waist, squeezing a little. She waited for Miley to turn around to kiss her, but she didn't. Lilly frowned. ''Miley? Helloooo...''

Miley finally turned around. ''Hi...''

Lilly smiled and leaned for a kiss, but Miley avoided her.

''What's wrong?'' Lilly asked with a concern voice.

''Nothing. I gotta go.''

Miley left without giving Lilly any chance to add anything. Lilly stayed there, puzzled. She didn't see Miley all day long, except during their common classes. But every time she was trying to talk to her, all she got from Miley was a cold glance. Lilly gave up, hoping that Miley would come to her when she will feel like to.

Miley had come home from school and was sitting on her bed, her book on her laps, trying to focus on her homework, but she kept seeing Lilly's face instead of her math equations. She surrendered after a few minutes, put her pencil in her book, and threw them in front of her. She got up and went down to the kitchen. Her dad was cooking, again.

''Hey...'' She said, resting her elbows on the counter. She breathed in, inhaling the sweet odor of the food her dad was making. ''Smells good!'' She exclaimed.

''Don't look so surprised!'' her dad joked. ''Lilly's coming over for dinner tonight?''

''Nope. Workiiiing.''

''Again? Wow this girl must really loves you...''

Miley froze and thought. Once again, her dad had given her a lesson, without even knowing it.

Miley took a deep breath and went to the candy counter where Lilly was working. She had left the house as soon as she had realized her stupidity and ran to the movie thater. She waited for Lilly to be done with her customers. Lilly hadn't seen her yet, too busy to look anywhere else but towards the popcorn, the drinks, the cash. Miley smiled a little when she saw this beautiful girl working hard, especially since Lilly was doing it for her. Once again, Miley felt guilty. She had been unfair to her.

She went into the line, figuring it was the best way to talk to Lilly while she was on her shift. She waited a few minutes, and finally her turn came.

''Hello. How can I help you?'' Lilly asked, bending at the same time to look for something under the counter.

''I'd like a free hug...'' Miley said. Lilly, surprised to hear that voice, straightened up and bumped her head on the counter. Miley gasped, putting a hand on her mouth.

''aww maaan!'' Lilly exclaimed rubbing her forehead. Miley giggled, but stopped when she saw Lilly grimaced at her.

''Miley, what are you doing here?'' Lilly asked, still rubbing away the pain.

''I owe you an apology Lilly. I'm sorry for the way I treated you today. I was a little grumpy because you weren't with me yesterday.''

Lilly sighed. ''I know. I really wished I could have been there. But...''

''Yeah, you were working...'' Miley sighed, sad.

''Yes.''

''So, when do you think you'll have some time for your girlfriend?'' Miley smiled.

''weeell, I'm taking my break in 5 minutes. I guess I could see her then...''

''Sounds good...'' Miley smiled. They looked at each other, a lot in their minds.

''Excuse-me...'' a man said, taping on Miley's shoulder.

''Yes?''

''Are you gonna order already?''

''Oh I'm sorry. I guess you can go, I'll get my candy in 5 minutes.'' She said, winking at Lilly. Lilly laughed. The man grimaced a little repulsed by Miley's allusion. Miley leaned across the counter and quickly kissed Lilly.

''go ahead'' she then said to the man. ''I'll wait for you at the arcade!'' Miley told Lilly.

'''kay.''

Lilly watched Miley walking away. _God, these five minutes were going to be long._

''Excuse-me Miss!'' the mand said to her, a little annoyed.

Lilly shrugged and sighed. _Correction, these five minutes were going to be __endless_ She feigned a commercial smile and helped the customer.

Lilly finally took her break and straightly went to the arcade, almost running. Miley was watching some guys playing pool. Lilly couldn't help but notice that she was very friendly with them. Too friendly. She stood away, arms crossed, waiting for Miley to turn around, stamping her foot on the floor. Miley accidently turned her head in Lilly's direction when a guy pointed at a game behind Lilly, and finally saw her. Immediatly a big smile appeared on her face, making Lilly's heart melted down. Miley happily jumped into her arms and kissed her. The jaws of the guys fell down in shock. The girls laughed and walked away. Miley slipping her hand in Lilly's jeans back pocket.

''Who the hell were those guys?'' Lilly asked.

''Awww. You're so cute when you're jealous!'' Miley exclaimed, kissing her on the cheek.

Lilly led Miley in a small closet, where they could find some privacy. They sat on the floor next to each other and rested their back on the wall. Miley put one leg over Lilly's. Lilly started to rub it lovingly.

''So?'' Lilly smiled.

''So...?'' Miley repeated, the same conniving smile.

''I think I should probably make up to you for last night, shoudn't I?'' Lilly said, seductively.

''I think so too. You owe me... big time!'' Miley breathed, looking lovingly and charmingly at Lilly.

Lilly leaned and kissed Miley in the neck. ''Is that alright?''

''It's a good start...'' Miley played.

''What about this?'' Lilly asked kissing her on the collarbone. Miley shivered and smiled.

''That's better.''

Lilly kept her lips on Miley's collarbone and kept on her journey down Miley's chest.

''Okay, that's definitely an improvement,'' Miley moaned as she felt Lilly kissing her between her breast. Lilly smiled. She kissed Miley on the lips while unbuttoning her blouse. Miley grabbed Lilly's face and deepened the kiss. She slid her tongue in Lilly's mouth and Lilly moaned.

Now that Miley's blouse was completely opened, Lilly let her hand go down from Miley's collar bone, to the space between her breast, to her stomach, to her belly, to her jeans' zipper. Miley couldn't stop shivering, even thought she felt warmer and warmer. Lilly was teasing her, always postponing the moment Miley was dying for.

''Lilly...'' She begged as she felt Lilly's fingers going back and forth from on her inner thigh to the elastic of her panties. She always slightly touched Miley's most sensitive part on her way but never wandered there.

''Please... I can't take it anymore...'' Miley added, on the edge of screaming out her frustration, as Lilly had now her lips on her thigh. Lilly smiled into the kiss... and she finally gave in into Miley's erotic request. Miley let out a loud moan, welcoming her new guest.

Miley got out of the closet first, soon followed by Lilly. Their hair were messy, their cheeks red. Anyone could totally figure out what they had just done. The girls grinned at each other, remembering what just happened.

''I better get going.'' Lilly sighed. ''My break is almost over.''

She quickly kissed Miley goodbye and walked away. But she felt an arm grabbed her, turned her over, and she felt a pair of lips on hers. Who else could it be but Miley? The girls started making out. It was like nothing happened before and that the desire was still as huge as then.

''Lilly!'' Someone called. Lilly didn't hear it, too busy kissing Miley on the neck, but Miley could see the girl looking at them, from the other side of the corridor.

''Lilly...'' She wanted to whisper it in her ear to make her stop, but the sound that came out of her mouth was more like a moan than anything else. Lilly took it as an encouragement, and kept going putting even more lust in it. Miley's knees were so weak that she lalmost lost her balance. Lilly caught her and held her tight. She pushed her against the wall.

''Lilly...'' Miley tried again, but without success. If they kept going like this, they were going to have sex right there, right now, in front of everyone's eyes. Miley pulled herself together, or at least, some of her, and grabbed Lilly's head. She looked into her eyes. The girls were breathing heavily. Lilly looked at Miley, questioning. Miley pointed at the girl. Lilly turned away... and her face dropped.

''woops...'' She let out.

She rested her head on Miley's forehead and closed her eyes. ''It's my manager...'' She whispered, frustrated and somewhat ashamed. ''She's going to kill me...'' she whined.

Miley kissed her on the cheek. ''She won't! You were on your break.''

Lilly looked at her watch and grimaced. ''Not for the last three minutes...''

''Lilly!'' they heard the girl called. ''Can I talk to you for a sec?'' She sounded threatening.

Lilly grimaced at Miley who smiled a little trying to look reassuring. Lilly sighed, leaned to Miley, her hands on her stomach, and gave her one last kiss.

''See you later!'' She saddly said before walking away.

''Good luck!'' Miley exclaimed. Her sadness came back as she saw her love walking away, and quickly replaced the euphoria she had felt with Lilly. She felt alone and guilty. If Lilly lost her job, it would be her fault. She kept screwing everything up lately. She surprised herself thinking that the world would be better off without her...

**Author's note:** I know I'm taking much more time to update, but I'm kind of busy. I'll try my best to update faster next time ! Thanks for all the reviews ! You're the best ! Luv ya !

**Disclaimer :** I do not own the song used in this chapter.


	4. Stand by Me

**Happy Holiday, one could hope, Chapter 4**

After the evening Miley and Lilly had spent together, Lilly felt soooo good. She came to school the next morning, still on her cloud. She even hugged Oliver. Miley was waiting for her, a little anxious. They kissed and Lilly opened her locker.

''So, how did it go with your manager?'' She heard Miley ask.

''Good. She just doesn't want it to happen ever again, or, and I quote, she will ''get my ass fired''.'' Lilly said, slamming her locker's door.

''I'm sorry.''

''Don't worry about it Miley. I wouldn't change what happened yesterday for anything.'' Lilly beamed.

They started to head to their class. Lilly was still flying. The euphoria couldn't seem to disappear. She was happy. Miley looked at her some times, and she couldn't help but envy Lilly's happiness.

''Lilly, can you come over tonight?'' Miley asked, full of hope.

Lilly brutally came back to reality. She was going to have to say 'no' again, and she already knew how Miley was going to react. She grimaced, trying to find a good way to announce Miley she had to work tonight.

''Well?'' Miley eagered. But she immediatly understood when she saw Lilly's hesitation.

Miley desperatly wanted Lilly with her tonight. Tomorrow and Sunday were going to be huge for her.

''How can you be so selfish!'' Miley cried out suddenly.

Lilly froze. ''Selfish? Are you kidding me?!'' She was doing this for Miley! ''How can you even say this to me!'' Lilly screamed.

Miley froze seeing that she had hurt Lilly. She bit her lips. The girls stared at each other. Lilly didn't understand why it was such a big deal she had to be with Miley now. Of course she wanted to. If it depended on her, she would have stayed. But she had responsabilities, and after what happened thursday with the manager, she couldn't allow herself to be late or refuse a shift. Besides, Miley was just going to do a Hannah concert. It was only two days.

Miley didn't tell her that the real reason she was going to Tennessee was to see her mother. She couldn't expect Lilly to understand her position. Lilly couldn't guess, even though Miley hoped she would. It would make things easier. But Lilly didn't know and Miley couldn't blame her to act this way.

''You're right Lilly.'' Miley finally let out. ''I shouldn't be pressuring you to come over. You have a job, and you have it to make me happy. I'm sorry. I'm such a drama queen lately.''

''It's okay, Miley. I just don't understand you. The old Miley I know wouldn't have reacted that way...''

''Well, I haven't been the old Miley for a while, have I?'' Miley saddly smiled, looking down.

''We can bring her back...'' Lilly said, putting a lock of Miley's hair behind her ear.

Miley weakly smiled, trying to reasssure Lilly. But she knew it was going to be much more difficult. Besides, she wasn't sure she really wanted her back. Lilly hugged her girlfriend. She couldn't see Miley's face. She couldn't see that Miley was closer and closer to be over the edge and find an all new life in Hell.

Miley came back home late in the afternoon. Her dad had already packed up the bags.

''Ok, bud'' he said when he saw her walking in. ''We're taking the Hannah Jet. We're leaving for the airport in one hour.''

Miley silently nodded. She looked at the bags on the floor. Those bags...

**FLASH BACK**

''You got everything Honey?'' Mr Stewart cried in the house.

''I think so!'' Her wife replied.

Miley's mom was in the living room, checking if she had all she needed for her business trip in New York. Miley was looking at her, disappointed that she had to spend a week away.

''Come on Miles, I'll be back in no time!'' Her mom comforted her.

''I know... I'm just being sille, aren't I'' Miley grinned.

Her mom laughed. ''Look at Jackson!'' He was playing a video game, undifferent about their mother's departure. ''He looks fine with me leaving! It's like a week of vacation for him! For once, maybe you should take example on your...''

''Mom, please don't say it!'' Miley cut her off.

Her mom laughed.

''Okay Honey. The cab is on his way.'' Her dad said, coming downstairs. ''I'm sorry I can't drive you, but uncle Earl needs me to move the bathtube into the kitchen.''

Miley and Mrs Stewart frowned. ''Don't ask me why.'' Mr Stewart replied to their confused looks.

Miley hugged her mom goodbye but Jackson was still playing.

''Jackson! Switch on the human side of yours and say goodbye to your mom!'' Her dad cried, standing in Jackson's way to the screen. Jackson groaned and reluctantly said bye to his mom, giving her a quick hug and getting back to his game.

''Wow, if this is not love, then what is?'' Miley mocked.

''Be nice with your father, guys. And I want you in bed at 9. No food in front of the TV. Homeworks on time. Jackson, no girls here. And Robbie, please, try to make an effort when you buy the present for Jodie!''

''I'll try my best...'' He smiled.

A car honked outside. ''I guess this is my cab.''

Miley hugged a last time her mom and her dad picked up the bags. Her parents went outside. Miley looked at them through the window. She noticed they suddenly looked sad. It wasn't the sadness you'd see in people when they're leaving. It was something else. Miley had a bad feeling about this. Her dad hugged tightly her mom and she could see that her mom was sobbing. She finally got in the cab and her dad came back in.

''What's going on?'' Miley asked him.

''Nothing, bud! Don't worry. Everything's fine.''

Miley nodded, as if she believed him, but she didn't. Her dad was a very bad liar. Since that day, Miley could still count the number of steps her mom took to the cabs. It was the last steps she had seen her take.

**END FLASH BACK**

Later that evening, they headed towards the airport and got in the jet. Jackson was a pain in the ass for his father. But Miley stayed quiet during all the flight. The commandant announced their arrival in Tennesssee after a few hours. They finally landed and they stepped out. A car came to pick them up next to the plane, and drove them to the main airport. There, they could get their rental car. They hadn't called their family, wanting to be alone for that time of the year.

Miley was looking out the window during the ride. There they were. Tennessee. Miley felt somewhat happy to be there. It was home. This was where her mom was born. It was where she was born herself. She had so much memories there. She had tried to repress everything about this past life because it was too hard to remember a time where she actually had a mom, where she had someone who loved her that much.

They headed towards the motel. It was already 4 am. They had booked one room with two double beds. Unfortunatly for Jackson, he had to share a bed with his dad. He whined one hour and finally stopped when his dad promised him a free ticket for a baseball game. Miley sighed when she saw her brother's immature behavior.

Miley didn't spend a good night. She was nervous about tomorrow. She was nervous to stand in front of the grave. She knew how she was going to feel. It was going to be hard. When she was gone, her mom had taken a piece of her heart with her.

The next day, they left for the cemetery after having lunch. The ride was silent. Even Jackson was quiet. Miley had a blank expression, trying to prepare herself to stand in front of her mother's grave , and shut down every emotion in her body.

Her dad parked the car on the parking lot in front of the cemetery, and stopped the engine. However, none of them moved. They stayed silent. It was always hard for them to make these few steps towards the past, towards this hurtful memory. Miley grabbed her dad's and Jackson's hand. Even though Jackon was a little surprised by this sudden mark of affection from his baby sister, he held it and squeezed it tightly.


	5. There won't be a tomorrow

**Happy Holiday, one could hope, Chapter 5**

Miley, Jackon and their dad walked silently in the cemetery. Their dad was carrying flowers. Their mom's favorite flowers, orchid. There were some pleople, here and there, paying respect to their loved ones. There was this teenage girl too, standing in front of a grave. She had probably the same age as Miley, and Miley wondered if this girl had also lost one of her parent.

They kept walking through the cemetery, and as they did so, Miley had flashed of the night where their life had changed. She could remember every detail. She had never forgotten. It was carved in her memory.

**FLASH BACK**

It was Wednesday of the week her mom was away. Miley had spent a pretty cool day at school, and her dad actually bought a cool outfit for Jodie. Miley suspected her mom to have something to do with it, but she didn't say anything because her dad seemed proud.

She watched TV for a while., then she got bored. She decide to go see what Jackson was doing. She wasn't surprised when she found him lazily lying in his bed, playing a video game.

''Next time, knock you nut head!'' Jackson snapped, his eyes riveted to the screen. Miley shrugged and went back downstairs, decided to wait for her dad.

It was nine now, and her dad still wasn't home. He didn't call. He didn't leave a note. Miley was worried. Jackson didn't seem to care, enjoying the time he had more to spend in front of the TV. Miley kept pacing in the living room, checking through the windows if their dad was coming home. She had tried to call his cell, but no answer. It was directly going to the voice mail.

Midnight. Miley finally sat on the couch next to Jackson and soon fell asleep.

''Miley? Miley?''

Miley felt someone shaking her. She opened one eye and recognized her father.

''Dad! Where have you been? We've been worried sick about you!'' She exclaimed.

''I know, I'm sorry.''

''What time is it anyway?''

''3.40 in the morning.''

''And you just came home?'' Miley exclaimed, straigthening up.

''Yes. Listen, I have to get Jackson downstairs. I...Erm... I need to talk to you kids.'' Her dad said. He didn't stay for Miley's answer. He just went up the stairs. Miley looked at him disappeared. She saw something in her dad's eyes. Sadness, pain, worry, she couldn't say what it was.

Jackson and her dad came back a few minutes later. Miley looked at Jackson, asking him if he knew what was going on, but Jackson simply shrugged and fell on the couch, half sleeping.

Their dad looked at them, not knowing what to do. He looked lost and avoided any eye contact with his children. It was the hardest he ever had to do. Miley started to feel uncomfortable and fear was gradually invading her.

''I had a phone call earlier, just before you got back from school. It was the Police... in New York.''

Miley stared blankly at her dad.

''It was about your mom... She's... She's...'' But their dad couldn't say it. He broke down in front of his two kids. He promised he'd stay strong but he had lost the love of his life and his children had lost their mother. He took his head in his hands, trying to calm down. Jackson was shaking, his eyes wide opened staring at a point, in front of him. Miley couldn't show any affect. She had heard what her dad had said and she was seeing right now this fragil man, crying his heart out in front of them, but she couldn't feel anything. It was like all her body had turned off any sensation, feeling, or emotion she could experience. She was not Miley anymore. She wasn't in this body. She had lost her soul when her mom had died.

Miley slowly turned toward Jackson and saw him staring. Just staring and shaking. Then she looked back at her dad. He had managed to calm down. He couldn't be like that in front of his children. He had to be strong for them. He looked at Miley. The sparks he usually saw in her eyes had disappeared. The lips, always ready to smile, was sealed. Her face which used to be so alive was now frozen in no emotion. He looked at her standing up like a robot, and then walked like an automat up the stairs. He thought that he had lost her mom and her daughter the same day.

Up in her room, Miley sat on the bed and grabbed her guitar. She started playing some chords. It was not a song. Just random chords. As her fingers travelled through the instrument, she was looking in the vague, like Jackson did earlier. She played the same chords over and over again through the night, her eyes remaining lost in space. When his dad came to her door the next morning, he could still hear the chords. He sighed and went back downstairs. He didn't have the courage to have a talk with Miley right now. Miley stopped playing the guitar the next night, at the time her dad had announced them the terrible news, 24hours earlier. She put down the instrument, got up and went to her closet. She grabbed an old sweat shirt that her mom used to wear but gave her because Miley loved it. She put it on and went back on her bed. She laid down and grabbed a pillow. As she listened to the wind blowing outside, the tears started to fall. Gradually, Miley surrendered to the pain. She allowed herself to feel everything. She realized her mother won't be coming back. She was alone.

**END FLASH BACK**

Miley, Jackson and their dad finally stopped in front of Mrs Stewart's grave. Miley grabbed the orchid and put it next to it. Then, they looked at this cold rock.

_''I wish you could come back and hold me. I wish you could meet Lilly.'' Miley thought._

_''I'm sorry I didn't want to hug you goodbye before you went to New York.'' Jackson thought._

_''the kids are the only reasons I'm still alive. Thank you for this gift.'' Their dad thought._

Miley saw her dad wip away a tear. She held him. He was always acting strong. But these last 5 years had been as hard on him as they had been on Jackson and her. The image Miley had of her father right now was reminding her when he broke down in front of them on the table. It was breaking her heart. She hadn't been able to comfort him then, but today, she could do it. She held him tighter, letting the tears fall. Jackson wasn't much better.

The jet took off and Miley watched the lights disappeared in the dark. They flied away Tennessee, leaving once again her mom there, alone. _ Can you see how much I need you right now, Mom? Miley thought._

Back in Malibu, Lilly was at the movie theater. She couldn't wait to see Miley. She was probably on her way back home now and she was stuck in here... Besides, she knew she couldn't see her until tomorrow anyway, because she had to work late tonight. She sighed in frustration, and fiercely cleaned up the sink in the bathroom. Miley was acting weird lately. She didn't know why, but she started to think that maybe she didn't love her as much anymore. Maybe she was getting tired of her. They had fought a lot these last few days, and they had spent less time together. _Don't be paranoid Lilly, she told herself. You hadn't seen her a lot because you're working. Besides, Miley did want to be with you. You were the one to refuse. _

Lilly hoped the feelings she had right now were really her imagination. She couldn't take it if Miley broke up with her.


	6. I miss you

**Happy Holiday, one could hope, Chapter 6**

As soon as they got back to Malibu on Sunday night, Miley decided to go see Lilly. She didn't know if she was ready to talk though, but she knew that being in Lilly's arms was going to make her feel better and happy. Thus Miley rang at the Trescott's house. Lilly's mom opened the door.

''Miley?! Hi!'' she exclaimed, surprised.

''Hi...'' Miley said, staying in the door way, squeezing her hands of nervousness. She used to be so comfortable with Lilly's mom, but after this week and with all these feelings and memories striking her, it hurt her to see Mrs Trescott more than anything.

''Well, come on in!'' She happily greeted her.

Miley stepped in.

''so, how are you?'' Mrs Trescott asked.

''Good... thanks...'' Miley answered, avoiding to look at her.

Mrs Trescott noticed that Miley was different today. She used to be very chatty, very smiling, but today, Miley's face was closed. It was like Miley couldn't show any affect, any emotions.

''I guess you want to see Lilly...'' She said.

''Yeah, I do. Is she here?''

''I'm sorry Honey, Lilly works until 9 tonight. I'm surprised she didn't tell you...''

''Well, we had a fight on Friday, and we didn't have much time to talk...'' Miley explained.

''Oh...''

''I wanted to apologize to Lilly.''

Suddenly, Miley started to cry, surprising Lilly's mother.

''Oh my God, Miley...'' She said, pulling Miley into a hug. Miley sobbed in her arms. Miley kept crying, Lilly's mom desperatly trying to calm her down. But no words seemed to work. She decided to hold her, rocking her slightly.

When Lilly came back that night, she found Miley sleeping in her bed. She froze, a little taken aback. They had a fight earlier, and she wasn't expecting to see Miley here. She walked silently towards her bed and kneed next to her. She slightly brushed the hair covering Miley's face and watched at her sleep. She was so beautiful, and for once, she seemed to be calm and relax. All the tension, anger, she had shown earlier at school seemed to have dissolved.

She tried to be as quiet as she could. Miley was sleeping as a rock. It was the first real night of sleep she had since a week. Lilly put her pajamas on and slid under the sheets next to Miley. Miley unconsciensly turned towards Lilly and put her head on Lilly's chest. It was so natural that her body didn't need any order to do it. Lilly smiled and put a hand in Miley's hair. Her eyes slowly closed and she soon fell asleep.

The next morning, Miley was the first to wake up. When she first opened her eyes, she was desoriented, not recongnizing her room. But the room was familiar and what was even more familiar was this beautiful girl lying next to her. Miley smiled. She slightly put a kiss on Lilly's cheek and went to the bathroom. Her eyes were still a little puffy from the crying. She stripped down of her clothes and stepped into the shower. She let the warm water running throughout her body. She got out the shower a few minutes later, and when she came back in the bedroom, she saw that Lilly wasn't there anymore. Miley immediatly felt abandoned. But Lilly came back in the room, a tray in her hand, with some orange juice and pancakes.

''Breakfast is served, Miss Stewart!'' Lilly smiled putting the tray on the bed. She took off her robe and stayed in her bower and white top.

Miley smiled relieved. She felt a little stupid though. She sat on the bed, watching Lilly have a bite of a pancake. Lilly frowned at Miley's look.

''What?''

''Nothing! I'm enjoying the view!'' Miley smiled.

Lilly smiled back. ''You should have some. They're delicious!''

''Thanks, but no thanks. Maybe later though...'' Miley dismissed.

Lilly shrugged and kept eating as Miley laid down next to her and closed her eyes. She felt good this morning. Maybe she will have a good day today !

''Okay, so I think we should go to school now...'' Lilly said. Miley and she had just taken a shower and got dressed. They had skipped their first class, but Lilly's mom didn't agree for them to skip the second one.

Miley groaned but agreed.

''So, maybe I could come over tonight after work? I get off at 7.'' Lilly suggested on their way to highschool. Miley's reply came in the kiss she put on Lilly's lips.

''I take that as a 'yes' then!'' Lilly smiled. Miley smiled back and grabbed her hand.

Like Lilly promised, she arrived at Miley's a few minutes after 7. She rang and opened the door without waiting for the answer. Miley told her that nobody would be home so that she could get in like that.

Lilly walked up the stairs and arrived in front of Miley's bedroom door. She could hear a guitar playing. Intrigued, she put a hear on the door and listened.

I miss you,  
I miss your smile,  
And I still shed a tear,  
Every once in a while,  
And even know we're Different now,  
You're still here somehow,  
My Heart Won't let You go,  
And I need you to know,  
I miss you,  
shalalala,  
I miss you.  
I know you're in a better place yeah  
But I wish that I could see your face oh  
I know you're where you need to be  
Even though it's not here with me

Lilly listened the end of the song. She could hear Miley's voice break down. That song was so sad. She took a breath and knocked on Miley's door.

''Come in.'' She heard Miley say. And she did so.

As she opened the door, she saw Miley got off the bed and put the guitar away. Lilly quickly kissed her on the lips, but she could see Miley was distant.

''I heard you sing through the door.'' Lilly said, sitting on the bed. ''I had never heard that song before.''

Miley looked away. ''It's a new one...'' She vaguely replied. Lilly nodded, wanting Miley to say more, but she didn't.

''So, erm, Miley, how you're doing?'' Lilly asked, worry in her voice. She could feel Miley was hiding something.

''Good...'' Miley replied, arms crossed. _She's defensive, Lilly thought._

Lilly nodded, but she was concerned. That song had given a little more sense about Miley's behavior lately. Something about her mom...

''Anything you wanna talk about? You know you can tell me anything right?'' Lilly tried, getting up the bed.

''Sure.'' Miley shrugged. She went to the window when she saw Lilly coming closer. Lilly froze, when she saw Miley running away from her.

''How was your weekend? You didn't talk to me about it...''

''It was...'' Miley hesitated. ''...great.'' she finally let out, even though it wasn't the truth. Lilly sighed. Miley wasn't going to tell her anything that way. She sat on the bed, her shoulders down in defeat. Miley kept looking through the window. Lilly desperatly wanted her girlfriend to confide in her. It came to her mind that Miley did try during the past few days, but she was too busy with her stupid job. Now, Lilly wanted to make up for the time she wasn't there, because Miley was visibly hurt.

''Miley, is that about your mom? I mean, do you think about her?''

''Of course, I think about her! I never stopped!'' Miley snapped. Lilly had touched her sensitive chord.

''Tell me!'' Lilly said, standing up. She walked close to Miley but didn't touch her. ''What's going on ? I wanna help you! I love you!''

''Why do you care anyway?!'' Miley screamed suddenly. Lilly froze, horrifed by Miley's reaction. She had never yelled at her like that... or at anyone for that matter. What she was seeing in her girlfriend's eyes was nothing she had seen before. It was scary.

''I care because I love you Miley.'' Lilly soothed, trying to reach to Miley. But Miley pushed her away.

''Lilly, don't!''

''Listen, I know you miss your mom! I just want you to talk to me!''

''You don't know what you're talking about Lilly!'' Miley yelled. She was red of anger. ''You'll never know what it's like! You can't help me!! Just go away!!! Leave me the hell alone!!!'' Miley screamed even more.

''Miley...'' Lilly breathed, but Miley threw a picture of them on the wall. Lilly froze, shocked.

She stared at the angry person in front of her, whom she used to know as Smiley Miley. But it was like this person had disappeared. Lilly didn't want to leave, but Miley's threatening expression was scaring the hell out of her, so she decided that doing what Miley wanted was the best choice... for now.


	7. Explain the past to get the present

**Happy Holiday, one could hope, Chapter 7**

_What did I just do?_ Miley fell on the ground, crying. How could she treat Lilly like that? She didn't want her to go. She said that because... because... she didn't know why. It just seemed like it was what she desired on the moment. But she desesperately needed Lilly with her, now. Maybe, maybe she could run after her. She was probably not very far away._ I have to apologize to her. I have to tell her that I'm sorry, that I love her. I can't let her go like that. She has to know that I didn't mean anything of what I said._

Miley got up from the floor, wiped away her tears and opened her bedroom door, ready to run after Lilly. But she froze. Here she was, Lilly, on the doorway.

''Lilly...?'' Miley said, surprised.

''I couldn't leave Miley. I won't leaven no matter what.'' Lilly breathed, serious.

Miley had a small smile. She pulled Lilly into a hug. ''I'm so sorry Lilly. I don't know what happened to me. I love you so much!''

''I love you too. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.'' Lilly said, tightening her arms around Miley's waist. Miley smiled into Lilly's arms.

Lilly stayed a while. Miley and she were lying on the bed, holding hands. Lilly knew Miley wouldn't talk about her mom, so she didn't ask anything. They stayed silent. For Miley, Lilly's presence was enough. She was the only capable of making her feel better.

But Lilly had to leave in the evening, her mom calling her to get back home. Miley went down to have dinner. Jackson was already eating.

''Thanks for waiting...'' Miley frowned.

''You're welcome.'' He replied his mouth fulled. Miley helped herself and took off the lid on the pan. Jackson had made pasta. She grabbed a spoon and started to reach for some of them. They were sticky. She grimaced. ''How long did you cook them?'' she asked.

''30 minutes...'' Jackson shrugged, putting more pasta in his already full mouth.

Miley frowned. ''30 minutes?!''

''What? I like them that way!'' Jackson protested.

''You are so selfish!'' Miley said, rolling her eyes. She put back the lid on and headed towards the fridge. She will have a tomatoe and some ham tonight. No way she was going to eat this lumpy thing.

Jackon sat on the couch and turned on the TV.

''Hey, Miles, Hannah's on E! Tonight.''

''what does it say?'' Miley asked from the kitchen.

''That apparently you're dating some rich guy. Don Edouarrrdo Sevigny.'' Jackson added with a spanish accent.

Miley shrugged and sighed. They were showing a picture of Edouardo and her at a party. Now that she was seeing the guy, she could remember him. He was the one who was hitting on Tracy during a charity event. Her cellphone rang. Speaking of the Devil...

''Hey Tracy!'' She said picking up.

''Hannah, how could you do that to me? I thought we were friends! I would have never dating Jake while you were with him! I feel so betraaaayed!'' Tracy rambled over the phone in her nasy voice.

Miley smiled. ''Tracy, calm down. This story is a lie! Besides, I'm dating someone else.''

''oh... who's that?'' Tracy asked, suddenly interested.

''you'll know soon enough... But the point is: I'm not dating your boyfriend.''

''kay... I guess you're more believable than these journalists...'' Tracy slowly said.

''You think?'' Miley laughed.

''Alright. Well, I'll see you tomorrow at Avril's party?''

''oh, no, can't! I already have plans.''

''Oh... with your mysterious loverrrr?'' Tracy teased.

''Yeah...'' Miley replied, not wanting to enter in the details. ''I'll see you soon Tracy! Bye!''

''Bye Hannah!''

Miley hung up and sat on the couch next to Jackson and watched TV with him.

Their dad came back home a while later.

''Hey guys!''

''Hey dad!''

''How're things going? Jackson, did you take out the garbage?''

''Sure...'' Jackson replied.

But as soon as Mr Stewart stepped in the kitchen, he crashed into two garbage bags full.

''Jackson...'' He said threatening.

Jackson reluctantly got up and took the garbage out.

''What am I gonna do with that boy?'' Mr Stewart let out.

''Sell him!'' Miley proposed. Her dad smiled.

He sat in front of her in the table, as Jackson came back and sat back on the couch.

''So, I got news for you!'' Their dad happily exclaimed.

But Miley didn't listen anymore. There she was again, reliving her past.

**FLASH BACK**

Miley was sitting on the couch next to Jackson. It was two days after her dad announced them her mom was dead. Their dad was facing them, sitting on the table between the couch and the TV. He was explaining them what happened to their mom. He hadn't been able to do it earlier because of the pain, and because Miley and Jackson couldn't deal with it yet.

''Your mom was sick. She had a tumor... in her brain. The medication worked for a while, but not anymore. Her doctor decided to send her in New York to see a specialist.''

''So, it wasn't a business trip?'' Miley cut in.

''No, it wasn't. She went there to see if there was another treatment we could try. Her mom was in a taxi. She was heading back to her hotel, when she had a seizure. The driver and the rescuers did her best to try to resususcitate her, but it was too late.''

Miley stared blankly at her dad. She didn't see him anymore. She could only see her mom, holding her head. She saw her mom throwing up and pretending it was just the flew. How could she not see she was seriously sick? All the signs were in front of her.

''We didn't want you to worry, so we hid it from you. You couldn't have known.'' Her dad said, as if he knew what Miley was thinking.

_Of course we could have known. We SHOULD have known, Jackon and Miley thought at the same time. _

**END FLASH BACK**

Miley got upstairs, ready to work, or do whatever she had to do. But she felt helpless. She didn't have control on anything, she was hopeless. Every time she was alone, every time Lilly was gone, these emotions were taken control of her body and she couldn't help it. She couldn't force Lilly to stay with her, especially when she had to work. Miley finally accepted that, or at least pretended to be fine with it. She didn't understand what was wrong with her, why she felt like so suddenly. Everything was fine before. It has been already five years since her mom had died, she should have moved on, or at least, had done mourning. But she obviously hadn't. If someone asked her why, she wouldn't have the answer. It just was, and no matter what she tried, it was still there, in her.

Miley went to the bathroom. She needed to take a shower to get rid of all this tension. She let the water running on her body. She stepped out fifteen minutes later, her skin red from the heat. She put her bathrobe on. She had to clean up her make up. She opened the medicine cabinet, looking for some lotion.

This was when Miley saw them. There, in the medicine cabinet, just above the sink. The pills. The pills which could make the pain go away. These magic pills. She took them, and closed the door. She stared at them, thoughts appearing in her mind.

She walked in her room, still staring at the small bottle in her hand. _What if...?_


	8. Tears drop in Miley's heart

**Happy Holidays, one could hope Chapter 8**

Miley was sitting on her bed. The pills were spread on her sheets. These little round white things. They looked like candies. Innofensive candies. But it wasn't candies. Miley grabbed one, from the tip of her fingers and looked at it closely. How could something so small be able to kill someone? They had a class last year where the teacher explained them that opiates were slowing the heart beats till they stop completely. No pain. _Tempting..._ She thougth about her mom, up there, somewhere. Maybe she will see her there. She pulled her attention back on the pill. Her was slowly headed towards her mouth, until it put the pill on the tongue. Miley closed her mouth. She could feel the pill on her tongue. It has some kind of acidic flavor. Not bad though. She was going to swallow the pill when her cell phone rang. She grabbed it on her nightstand and looked at the caller ID: Lilly.

Lilly... Miley saw Lilly's face appearing in front of her eyes. She smiled slightly thinking of her. Lilly's lips always smiling. These sparkles in her blue eyes. The freckles on her nose when she grimaced... How could she think about leaving Lilly ? How could she even think doing something like that? And her father? Or even Jackson? Miley fiercely spilled out the pill, who rolled on the floor. She grabbed the pills and put them back in the bottle. She went to the toilets, and threw them in. She flushed and looked at her ideation disappeared. She started crying.

A little later that night, Lilly quietly entered Miley's room. She had sneaked out from her house. She didn't want to leave Miley alone tonight. The bedroom was dark. The curtains were closed.

''Miley?'' she called, trying to spot her through the dark. She went to the bed, and put her hands down. No one. She soon saw her sitting on the floor next to her library, in the far corner of the room.

Lilly kneed in front of Miley, a few inches away. She didn't want to pressure her to talk. She sat there, looking at her fragile girlfriend. Miley's head was burried in her arms. She was slowly rocking back and forth.

''Miley?'' She said after a while.

But Miley didn't answer her. She kept rocking, like a robot. Back and forth, back and forth. Lilly put a hand on Miley's knee, but Miley pulled a way as she rocked.

''Miley. Tell me what's going on. Please. I can't stand to see you like this. I...I can't stand the thought of you being so hurt. You know you can tell me everything!'' Lilly stopped as she heard Miley sobbing.

''Please don't cry, Miley.'' She begged as she took Miley's face softly in her hands. But tears were already rolling on Miley's cheeks. Miley looked so sad. Lilly could feel the pain. She started crying with Miley, holding her tight, desperatly trying to calm her. But Lilly was powerless.

''It won't stop hurting.'' Miley sobbed. ''I can't make it stop. I can't do it anymore, Lilly. It hurts to live without her.''

Lilly didn't know what to say. What can you say in moments like this?

Lilly kept holding Miley who was sobbing on her chest. She kept rocking her, like a baby, hoping it would do any good. Miley gradually tired down. The tears stopped falling. She slowly pulled back, getting away from Lilly's arms. Lilly looked at Miley, trying to find her eyes, but Miley stubbornly kept looking down, or away.

''Miley, wh...'' Lilly started.

''What aren't you working?'' Miley cut her off.

''I quit. I sneaked out and came over to tell you...''

''You quit? Why?'' Miley exclaimed, confused.

''Because you obviously need me with you right now, and I can't do both...The choice wasn't hard to make. You'll always be first.'' Lilly explained.

Miley started to cry again. ''I'm sorry Lilly. I didn't want you to...''

Lilly was confused. ''Miley, it's okay! It was a stupid job. I couldn't even make out with my girlfriend on my break!'' Lilly tried to joke.

Miley let out a giggle. Lilly smiled.

''So, now tell me what's going on? It's your momIs it about your mom?''

''Yeah...'' Miley confessed. ''It's like everything I do reminds me of her. The more I look into the mirror, the more I see her. It's like I can't breath anymore because she's not here. You were the only one to get me through the days, Lilly. And then we stopped spending time with each other because you were working... just when I was starting to sink.'' Miley's voice broke and she began to cry again.

''I'm sorry, Miley. I didn't know...and I should have known.'' Lilly said, shaking her head in guilt.

Miley didn't reply. Lilly couldn't guess something like that. She snuggled in Lilly's arms, resting her head on her chest, crying her heart out. Lilly felt powerless. How could she make Miley less sad? She needed her mom, but her mom was dead, and she couldn't bring her back. Even if Miley was hurt, she won't be coming back.

''Now I'm here Miley, whenever you need me. I will never leave you again.''

Miley started crying a little more.

''What? What is it?'' Lilly asked, worried.

''I...I have to tell you something.'' Miley said pulling away. ''But you can't tell anyone... Promise?'' She looked at Lilly intensely, trying to read in her.

''I can't promise that Miley. But you know you can trust me, and I won't do anything to hurt you...''

Miley looked at Lilly. It wasn't the answer she had expected. But she trusted Lilly.

''I... I almost swallowed some pills earlier...'' She blurted out, covering her eyes, ashamed.

Lilly froze. ''You mean... you... you... you tried to kill yourself?''

Miley nodded. Lilly panicked. ''Oh my god, Miley!''

''But it was just for a second.'' Miley explained, reaching for Lilly. ''Then I thought about you, about my dad and Jackson. And I couldn't do it.''

''I can't believe you just did that...'' Lilly whispered. She was shocked. Miley must have felt really really bad and alone to end up thinking about suicide. This time she was the one who let out some tears. Miley straightened up and grabbed Lilly's face in her hands.

''Lilly, please. Don't cry because of me. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I didn't want to kill myself. I don't want to do it. I love you too much to leave you. I promise I'll never do it again. I'll never even think about it. Please, stop crying.'' She begged, holding Lilly tight.

She slighly grabbed Lilly's chin in her hands, and looked into her eyes. Lilly was so sad and confused because of what she almost did. Miley kissed her slightly on the lips and pulled away, looking again in Lilly's teary eyes. She kissed her again, longer, and Lilly kissed back this time. Miley could taste Lilly's tears.

Lilly imagined Miley could have been dead right now, and she tightened her embrace, pushing her body against Miley. Miley moaned and fell on her back, dragging Lilly with her. They laid on the pillows on the floor. Lilly was still crying, but it wasn't sadness anymore. She was thankful that Miley was still here. She moved up a hand on Miley's left breast as she lowered her hand on her chest just above her hand. She listened Miley's heart beating.

''I'm sorry Lilly,'' Miley breathed. Lilly looked up and smiled slightly. She went up and kissed Miley. The kiss was slow, almost shy. Miley's hands were moving up and down Lilly's back. She could feel Lilly shaking. Miley started to cry too, feeling guilty because of what she had put Lilly through. Lilly felt Miley's tears on her lips. She broke the kiss and stared at Miley. She looked so vulnerable.

''Miley...''

''I need you Lilly. I love you so much. I am so sorry.'' Miley sobbed.

Lilly rested her forehead on Miley's and stared at her. ''Make love to me Miley...'' She breathed, shaking even more.

Miley looked at Lilly a few seconds, stopping crying. She caressed Lilly's cheek, and kissed her tenderly. The kiss deepened as Miley slid her tongue in Lilly's mouth. The kiss was slow and gentle, but passionate.

Miley rolled over so that now she was on top. She sat on Lilly and unbuttoned Lilly's top. She threw it away and leaned to kiss Lilly's collarbones. Lilly moaned and slightly arched her back. Miley cupped one of Lilly's breast, and kissed her through the bra. The attach was placed in the front, so Miley could easily unhook it, revealing Lilly's perfect nipples. Miley felt a warm feeling in her belly at this sight. Lilly could make her feel this way even without touching her, it was unbelievable. Miley kissed the breast slightly watching it erect at the contact of her lips.

''Aaah.'' Lilly let out. She bit her lips under the pleasure. Miley went further down, to Lilly's belly. She kissed Lilly's beauty spot, just above the elastic band of her panties. Lilly shivered. She couldn't wait anymore.

''Miley, please... It's torture!'' Lilly begged. Miley smiled as she kept licking Lilly's belly. She slid her fingers in each side of Lilly's panties, and pulled them down.

''Oh God...'' Lilly cried, as Miley kissed her inner thigh. She went up and kissed Lilly on the lips as she let her fingers slid up the inner thigh to Lilly's center. Lilly gasped in Miley's mouth as she felt Miley entered her. Their bodies started moving together, connecting in this tender moment. Lilly was experiencing so much pleasure and Miley was trying to keep up. Miley licked Lilly's neck as Lilly threw her head back under the warm feeling that suddenly invaded her. She screamed Miley's name, as spasms were shaking her body.

When Lilly calmed down, she rolled over on Miley and laid her on the floor. She threw away a pillow who was in their way. Miley smiled. ''You're lucky you didn't hit my guitar...'' Lilly scoffed. She leaned and joined her lips to Miley's. Her lips then went down to Miley's neck and worked on Miley's pulse point. ''Aaaw.'' Miley let out, biting her lips. Lilly went further down and kissed Miley's collarbones. Her slightly carressed the tip of her nose on Miley's chest, causing Miley to shiver. She kissed her on the breast and nibbled slightly the region. After a while, she went further down. Miley's body was strickened with pleasure.

''OH GOSH, LILLY!'' Miley screamed, squeezing the pillow next to her. Lilly kept going. Lilly definitly knew what she was doing. She was reading in Miley's body language as an open book. Miley could swear her soul left her body for a few seconds. Lilly collapsed on top of her, listening to Miley who was trying to recover her breath. Lilly grinned as Miley let out a moan of satisfaction. They had never felt so much alive.

Lilly looked up into Miley's eyes. She wiped off the remaining tears on her cheeks with a loving smile. Miley did the same for Lilly. Miley beamed. Lilly was there now.

**Author's note :** You have to know that suicide is something impulsive. If you can talk someone down, it will pass for a while, and you will be able to confront the person and see what's going on. Don't forget, talk them down to have a second chance.

For those who are a little disappointed with the sex scene because I didn't go as far as they wanted, I'm sorry. I told you I wasn't good at that... It's the first time I write such a scene in one of my stories. I took the risk because I thought some of you might like it. What did you think? Was it a good idea? I'll always write love scene with respect and will always make them, or at least try, to make them beautiful. I love LILEY ! lol


	9. Christmas

**Happy Holidays, One Could Hope, Chapter 9**

On the 24th, Lilly and her mother had came over to the Stewart's house to celebrate Christmas all together. Mr Stewart had cooked a turkey for the occasion, a turkey which, as he said as he was cutting it, when you looked at it from behind looked like uncle Earl's butt. Mrs Truscott spilled out her water. Lilly bit her lips to keep her from laughing. Miley rolled her eyes, ashamed by her dad's behavior. And Jackson, well Jackson added ''Oh weird, to me, it looked like Miley's but when she was younger...'' Miley blushed as Lilly bursted of laughing. Miley gave a look at Lilly, who stopped laughing but was still smiling.

The dinner went on until midnight. The girls received their presents from their parents. A new skateboard for Lilly with all the protections which was her mother's condition if she wanted to have the skate, and Miley had a new guitar. Jackson's present for Miley was...a bra.

''I found it hanging on the tree in the garden.'' He smiled. ''I wonder how it got there...''

Miley and Lilly blushed. It had gotten there because of a very very hot afternoon a while ago. Miley thought she had lost it in her room somewhere... until now.

Lilly and Miley had decided to give each other's present alone. It was a little after midnight and they had ran up into Miley's room.

''So, you start Miley!'' Lilly smiled. ''I want my present first!''

Miley laughed. ''kay.''

She handed a big box to Lilly. It was a frame of Paul MacCartney, one of Lilly's favorite singer. And in the right bottom, there were two tickets for his concert in London and two VIP access.

''Oh my god...'' Lilly said, stunned.

''Wait, there's more...'' Miley smiled. She turned the frame over, and on the back of it, there was a note reading: ''Hello Lilly. I can't wait to meet you in London. I know you're a fan. I'll see you soon! Paul MC''

''How did you...?'' Lilly whispered, shocked.

''Hannah...'' Miley shrugged. Lilly jumped in Miley arms, giving her the most tender kiss ever. ''Thank you so much Miley. You have no idea how... how... happy I am!'' Lilly babbled. ''I can't believe it!'' she exclaimed, still looking at the note.

''Enough...I want my present now...'' Miley pouted.

Lilly smiled and bended over the bed to grab a box under it. She handed it to Miley. Miley took it and opened it. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

It was the sweatshirt her mom had given her. She thought she had lost it.

''Lilly, how...?''

''Well, I had to spend a few hours in your attic. But I had some help...Your dad and Jackson.'' Lilly added seeing Miley's confused expression. Miley couldn't believe Lilly did that.

''How did you know about it?''

''There was this picture in one of your album. You were 7. You were with your mom and you were wearing it. When I asked your dad about it, he told me it was your mom's sweatshirt, but you had made such a fuss that she finally gave in and gave it to you on your birthday. He told me that you loved it so much because of the smell of it. Your mom's perfume...It never got off, no matter how many times they washed it.''

Miley was silent, staring at the sweat shirt in her hands. She remembered the day she had threw it away. It was a few weeks after her mom's death. She had came home from school and her dad had just announced them they were moving to California. Miley had blamed her mom because it was because of her their life was changing.

''Your dad found it with the garbage, in a box, outside the house.'' Lilly explained, guessing what Miley was thinking. Miley smiled. She leaned and kissed Lilly passionately, trying to thank her as much as she could. But even the much heated kiss couldn't express how happy she was right now.

''But that's not it...'' Lilly exclaimed suddenly. Miley frowned.

Lilly stood up and led Miley to her closet. ''Okay, so it's not what I had in mind first. But since I quit earlier, I didn't have enough money, so...''

''Lilly, it's okay! I told you I didn't want anything extravagant! The sweat shirt is already plenty!''

''You're sure?''

''I'm sure.'' Miley nodded.

''Oh, so I guess you're not gonna like my gift.'' Lilly said, disappointed.

She opened the doors. In Hannah's closet, Lilly had set up a stage. An armchair had been placed in front of it. It all looked like a private strip club. The light had been switched by some spot lights. There was a small stereo in the corner.

Miley was blissful. Lilly slightly smiled, proud of herself.

''So, I guess i'm gonna have to clean everything up,'' Lilly innocently said, starting to grab the chair. But Miley put a hand on her forearm. ''Don't you dare!'' She exclaimed.

Lilly turned to her, an amused look on her face. ''Oh really?''

''If you touch this chair, you're gonna be in a big trouble missy...'' Miley smiled.

''Okay then.'' Lilly surrendered. ''I won't touch it...''

They stared at each other, silently measuring the excitation of the other.

''So, aren't you suppose to get ready?'' Miley pressed.

''ouuuuh, someone's eager...'' She grabbed Miley by the hands, and sat her in the armchair. She bended slightly towards her and whispered in her ear. ''Enjoy the show...'' She kissed her on the cheek and walked towards the stereo. She turned it on. She turned on the light. A nightclub ambiance appeared as the first chords of the song of ''Slow'' by Kylie Minogue started.

Lilly started moving slowly on the stage. Miley sat comfortably in the chair, a satisfied smirk on her lips. She had the hottest girlfriend anyone could have. She watched Lilly sexily motioned in front of her. Lilly unbottuned her top to the rythm of the song. The first button, then the second one. She turned around, turning her back from Miley and kept unhooking her blouse. It was now opened and she turned over to Miley. Miley unintentionally gasped. Lilly's naked skin was very inviting. She tried to reach for her but Lilly danced away. She threw her blouse away, and moved her hand to her pants' zipper. She slowly pulled it down, and slid her hands on both side, pushing her pants away from her hips and then down on her legs till her ankles. She stepped out the pants and turned around.

Miley's eyes widened under this heavenly sight. She started to unbutton her blouse, feeling too warm to support it on her skin any longer. Lilly smiled and walked towards Miley. She put her arms on each edge of the armchair, bending towards Miley, and diving her blue eyes in hers.

Lilly's lips were now just a few centimeters away from Miley's. Miley tried to kiss her, but Lilly backed away, seductively smiling. She was teasing Miley. She knew she wanted her badly, but she wasn't going to surrender... at least, not now.

Miley felt so frustrated. She was turned on. She could feel every segmant of her skin burning up. She was hot, so hot, and she couldn't satisfy this latent desire. Lilly walked around the armchair, her hand touching Miley's chest as she did so. She slid her hands from Miley's breast to Miley's pants. Miley shivered even more. She felt Lilly's breath in her neck and her hands on her inner thighs. She couldn't take it anymore. She got up fiercely and grabbed Lilly, pushing her against the wall.

Lilly smiled before Miley crashed her lips on hers. No kiss had been ever that passionate. Miley ripped off Lilly's bra and panties, as Lilly took off Miley's blouse and untied her pants. But Miley didn't let her do anything else. Lilly was hers tonight. Miley kneed down, kissing Lilly's belly, as she massaged her hips. Lilly rested her head on the wall, crying of pleasure. She grabbed Miley's hair as she felt her kissing her most sensitive part, that only Miley knew by heart. She immediatly felt her knees becoming weak. She couldn't stay up anymore. She slowly laid down on the floor, Miley's head following her. A few seconds later, Lilly lost her mind. She left her body, and visited heaven. Her body was shaking of pleasure. She arched her back, her hands gripping Miley's blouse next to her and squeezing it tightly. She screamed Miley's name with all her heart, and gradually recovered from the most intense orgasm of her life. Miley moved up to her.

''Sorry, I couldn't take it anymore.'' Miley apologized.

''s'okay'' Lilly said, panting, a little desoriented.

''Thanks sweetie for this awesome Christmas.'' Miley said kissing her slightly.

''No. Than YOU.'' Lilly said, remembering what she had just experienced. They ended in a tender embrace, wondered.

A few hours later, Miley and Lilly came downstairs, hand in hand, satisfied and conniving smiles on their face. They sat on the couch, real close, and whispered things in each other ears, like lovers do. Jackson grimaced. Mr Stewart came in the living room.

''Erm Miley, we got one more present for you.'' Mr Stewart said. ''Well actually, your mom has.''

''What?'' Miley frowned, shocked.

Her dad didn't reply. He took a video tape on a table and put it in the video recorder. Miley instantly grabbed Lilly's hand. Lilly smiled reassuringly to her and slightly squeezed her hand. The video played and an image appeared on the screen. It was her mother, sitting on the couch in their old living room. Miley gasped and held Lilly's hand tighter.

''Hello My angel. I made this tape the day I learned I wouldn't make it. I made your dad promised he would show you the video the moment you missed me the most, the moment where he felt like you needed to see me. I guess that day had come... If I could I would have made thousands of video so that you could have a souvenir of me as you grow up, but I can't do that.'' _No, you can't with mom, Miley thought sadly. _

''I don't know how old you are now. Maybe you're in 8th grade with Jodie, or maybe you're in highschool, breaking boys' heart. Whatever it is, I'm sure your dad did an amazing job raising you. Don't cause him too much trouble though, he's just a man!'' Her mom said smiling. ''I hope you'll find love. I hope you'll find this one person who will change your life and make as happy as you could ever be.'' Miley looked at Lilly. She did have found that person.

''I love you so much my darling, you have no idea.'' Her mom said, her voice breaking down. ''I just wished I could see you now and hold you. Well, I'm sure I am looking over you from up there anyway.''

They heard some children voice in the backgrounds. Her mom turned her head on the left and smiled.

''I got to go. Jackson is trying to steal one of your doll to play with it. Jackson if you're listening, now the world knows that you used to play with your sister's dolls...and dressed as a girl...'' Her mom smiled.

Lilly scoffed as everyone bited their lips to not laugh.

''I love you sweetie. Take care of our men, and guys take care of our little angel. Love ya all'' Her mom gave a last smile and turned off the camera. The screen went black.

Miley smiled. Of course she felt sad to have seen her mom like this, but she felt somewhat comforted.

Two nights later, Hannah was presenting her new song ''I miss you.'' While she was singing, she saw her dad, Jackson and Lilly on the aisle. They were there for her. She smiled and winked at them. The old Miley was back.

**Author's note:** This story was a little darker than the other. But I just needed to explain Miley's past with her mother. I think it could help to understand the characters. Besides, it has strenghtened Miley and Lilly relationship... lol. Next story, more drama and fun ! I'm so sorry for the time I took before I could update it! But I didn't have Internet for more than a week, and I was busy... I promise the next story will have more frequent updates ! I've already started to write it, so hopefully, you'll be able to enjoy it soon!

Thank you to all the reviewers and thank you to those who add me as one of their favorite author! It means a lot to me and makes me want to write even more ! I love you all, and don't hesitate to write Liley's stories !!!


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